July 16, 2008
This Is Not A Drill
Printer FriendlyBy: Ann Coulter
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, or as she is called on the Big Dogs blog, "the worst speaker in the history of Congress," explained the cause of high oil prices back in 2006: "We have two oilmen in the White House. The logical follow-up from that is $3-a-gallon gasoline. It is no accident. It is a cause and effect. A cause and effect."
Yes, that would explain why the price of oral sex, cigars and Hustler magazine skyrocketed during the Clinton years. Also, I note that Speaker Pelosi is a hotelier ... and the price of a hotel room in New York is $1,000 a night! I think she might be onto something.
Is that why a barrel of oil costs mere pennies in all those other countries in the world that are not run by "oilmen"? Wait -- it doesn't cost pennies to them? That's weird.
In response to the 2003 blackout throughout the Northeast U.S. and parts of Canada, Pelosi blamed: "President Bush and Rep. Tom DeLay's oil-company interests." The blackout was a failure of humans operating electric power; it had nothing to do with oil. And I'm not even "an oilman."
But yes -- good point: What a disaster having people in government who haven't spent their entire lives in politics! That explains everything. A government official with relevant experience or knowledge about an issue is obviously a crisis of gargantuan proportions.
This must be why the Democrats are nominating B. Hussein Obama, who finished middle school three days ago and has less experience than a person one might choose at random from the audience of "American Idol."
Announcing the Democrats' bold new "plan" on energy last week, Pelosi said breaking into the Strategic Petroleum Reserve "is one alternative." That's not an energy plan. It's using what we already have -- much like "conservation," which is also part of the Democrats' plan.
Conservation, efficiency and using oil we hold in reserve for emergencies does not get us more energy. It's as if we were running out of food and the Democrats were telling us: "Just eat a little less every day." Great! We'll die a little more slowly. That's not what we call a "plan." We need more energy, not a plan for a slower death.
But there's more! Pelosi announced that the Democrats also plan to push for "an historic investment in biofuels, efficiency, conservation and the rest." The "rest" is apparently what she called our "important and essential" investment in alternative energy.
That certainly would be historic: We would make history by throwing our money away on unproven energy boondoggles that have eaten up untold billions since the 1960s without producing a single net kilowatt of power while we all starve to death.
The proposal to use energy sources that don't yet produce any energy is like the old New Yorker cartoon with Obama in Muslim garb -- no wait, that was a different cartoon. The cartoon is: A scientist has written out his extremely complicated theory on a blackboard and is showing it to another scientist. The theory consists of numbers and characters and takes up the entire blackboard. About two-thirds of the way across, reading left to right, appear the words, "then a miracle happens," followed by more numbers and characters.
That's the Democrats' plan to run cars on biofuels, solar and wind power: Then a miracle happens. The current Democratic mantra on energy is: "We can't drill our way out of this problem." Apparently their plan is to talk our way out of this problem.
Democrats are also alleging that the oil companies are sitting on millions of acres of oil but are refusing to drill -- presumably because oil company executives hate the American people and perversely don't want to make money. Manifestly, those acres are being explored for oil or have already come up dry.
If the Democrats really wanted oil companies to find more oil, they'd allow oil companies to drill offshore and to drill in ANWR, which we happen to know is bursting with oil.
But they don't. They don't want drilling. They don't want more oil. They want humans to ride bicycles and then to die. We deserve it: We were mean to the polar bears.
It's good to know that in the middle of a crisis, the Democrats are still liars. As long as we're fantasizing about "alternative" energy sources, what we really need is a car that runs on Democrats' lies.
Posted by redguy at July 16, 2008 09:49 PM
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Comments
Are Americans better off now than they were eight years ago?
Bye-bye, GOP.
Posted by: kevind ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.redstatesusa.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at July 17, 2008 07:59 AM
When I look at the Democrat agenda, no single point they propose advances American interests, culture, or power in the world. Never in history has a political party so completely embraced the 'Fifth Column' destruction their own nation.
Posted by: Bernard at July 17, 2008 08:41 AM
Just ask any democrat--President Bush has been busy: planting explosives in the World Trade Center, starting wars, spying, causing power outages, running up the national debt; and now he's raised the price of gas to over $4 a gallon.
He also killed my girlfriend's cat and let the air out of one of her tires.
Posted by: Florida Cane at July 17, 2008 09:12 AM
Hasn't anybody noticed that the most dramatic rise in oil/gas prices has happened since the Democrats took control of Congress? They're the ones who wanted $5.00/gallon gas and now, apparently, they've made it happen.
Posted by: mcrider at July 17, 2008 11:09 AM
Oil prices have skyrocketed SINCE the democrats have taken control of Congress.
I blame everything on the democrats; they're the ones who are attempting to destroy the country. Every single bad thing can be attributed to a democrat.
Am I mincing words too much?
Your pal,
Meat.
Posted by: meat at July 17, 2008 02:31 PM
Maybe the Democrats should take up the fiddle, as Nero did, only with the price of oil we couldn't afford to burn Rome (or anything else). Drilling in ANWR will be done at some point. But if it's up to the Democrats we'll all be riding bikes by that time and America will be a third world country. Maybe we can use the oil revenues to pay for national health care!
Posted by: snowmane at July 17, 2008 10:07 PM
Is it just me, or are there signs on the horizon that American's are beginning to awaken from a long slumber, and none to soon?
Posted by: Bob at July 17, 2008 10:58 PM
It's good to know that in a world fraught with dangerous unpredictability, we may always count on kevind to write something stupid and yet humorous. "Bye Bye GOP?!" Who cares?! It's as if kevind believes the GOP represents the interests of conservatives. While the GOP (except for G. W. Bush*) ostensibly offers more hope than the party of the jackass, not being as horrible as the Democrats is not really anything about which to be proud as the standard they set for themselves is so low. When they won the Congress, we were supposed to see change (presumably for the better). Co-opting kevind's theft of Reagan's famous query: Are we better off than we were before the Dummycraps controlled Congress? I suppose if we ignore their inaction in the face of myriad national crises(housing/mortgage crash; gasoline etc. prices, New Orleans still a mess; southern border more porous than ever with no plan for CHANGE; bees/pollination crisis; effects of record wildfires & tornados etc. unchecked; no energy policy; no prison reform; no education reform; no health care reform; Soc. Sec. crises left unaddressed, etc. etc.) and their efforts to pattern the demise of the US after the Fall of the Roman Empire (please refer to the legalization of Gay marriage) then we may say "Yes". To their credit, the 'do nothing' Dummycrap Congress is virtuoso at creating new holidays. It would be great if they declared the 1st Tuesday in November "Vote Dummycraps and lame Repugnicans out of Office Day".
*Bush however, gets an A+ re the war vs Islamofascism.
Posted by: wesley123 at July 18, 2008 10:19 PM
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