March 12, 2008

Whoreable Behavior

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By: Ann Coulter

This is a disaster for Hillary Clinton.

According to the wiretaps, New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer was delighted to be getting the prostitute "Kristen" again. At least he knew her name. It took Monica Lewinsky's boyfriend six sexual encounters to remember her name (raising his lifetime average to 8.2).

You know that queasy feeling you get thinking about Bill Clinton back in the White House again? Now you remember why. Hillary Clinton couldn't feel worse about the Spitzer case if she were an actual New Yorker.

Proving that Karl Marx got everything wrong -- more bad news for Hillary -- history is indeed repeating itself, but, contra Marx, the first time as farce, the second time as tragedy. Clinton's scandal was hilarious; Spitzer's is just depressing.

Most people outside of New York can't grasp the enormity of Spitzer's political free fall.

Eliot Spitzer was the golden boy with an absolutely charmed life. His parents were the children of Jewish immigrants, who created a Ralph Lauren lifestyle for their children.

Spitzer's father made half a billion dollars in New York real estate and raised three high-achieving children -- two lawyers and a neurosurgeon. In a family like that, becoming governor of New York makes you the black sheep.

Spitzer went to the best schools -- Horace Mann, Princeton and Harvard Law School. He must have written some good papers.

He lives at the perfect address (Fifth Avenue and 79th St.) with his perfect Harvard Law School-educated Southern Baptist wife -- whose parents must be telling her they told her so right about now -- and their three perfect daughters. (Admittedly, the apartment is a gift from Dad: A mere top-flight education doesn't get you an apartment overlooking Central Park.)

And now Spitzer's entire anal-retentive, good paper-writing life has collapsed in the horrifying image of a frenzied masturbator. This is the most complete coup de grace imaginable, short of an assassin's bullet.

Spitzer's life is ruined. It doesn't matter if he has defenders who will wail, "It's his private life!" It doesn't matter if he fights the charges. It doesn't matter if this was a political prosecution. As Talleyrand said: "It's worse than a crime; it's a blunder."

Eliot Spitzer, Harvard Law graduate and Fifth Avenue denizen, is forevermore: "Client No. 9."

Forget about his career -- those around him better have him on suicide watch. Dudley Do-Right is on tape in a white-knuckle negotiation with pimps about payment for a prostitute. (Let's just be thankful that there's no anti-Semitic expression for Jews haggling about money.)

No one will ever be able to look him in the eye again. How can Spitzer hold a press conference when reporters won't stop giggling at him?

Spitzer can't go to the restaurants he used to frequent. He can't go to the Whitney Museum near his apartment. He can't go to track meets at his daughters' expensive private school. He can't show his face in public.

The golden boy's disgrace is deep and subliminal; it can't be expunged.

One shudders to imagine the sepulchral gloom pervading the Spitzer home this week. At least Hillary would liven the place up with some lamp-throwing.

Whatever Spitzer's flaws, he was a pristine product of wealth and attainment. And he threw away a star-studded life of accomplishment in a wanton, reckless pursuit of sex with prostitutes.

There's no prettifying what Spitzer has done. The Web site of the "Emperor's Club VIP" whorehouse patronized by Spitzer heroically claims the prostitutes -- or "models" -- are chosen for their "level of education, family background, intelligence, personality."

One can almost hear the typical John, heavy-breathing into the phone: "And this one you call 'Busty Betty' -- does she come from a good family? Parents still together? What church do they attend?"

Surprising no one, police wiretaps indicate that the "models" were semi-literate, could not learn to swipe a credit card and seemed invariably to be on drugs. That's what you get for $2,000 an hour in this charming business.

After one prostitute missed an appointment and left a "crazy" text message for one of her pimps, the procurer remarks that the girl is on drugs. It seems, the procurer adds, "a lot of these girls deteriorate to this point."

Behold the "victimless" crime of prostitution. Hard to believe these girls would turn to drugs. Having sex with strangers for money, nothing to live for ... just thinking about it makes me want to take drugs.

It's absurd to talk about Spitzer's problem being "hypocrisy" -- as if everything would be fine if only he had previously advocated legalized prostitution.

It's absurd to talk about "alpha males" and political power -- an alpha male does not bring his family shame and disaster. Who was more alpha than Ronald Reagan? Think he ever had a "whore problem"? This is more like a dog who wee-wees on your leg.

It's absurd to talk about legal defenses. This guy has fallen from the pinnacle of New York society to being a disgrace to his class. He's the Ivy League version of Paris Hilton.

That was always the advantage Clinton had: We never expected any better. He went from Skunk Trot, Ark., to Skunk Trot, Ark. Spitzer fell from Fifth Avenue to Skunk Trot, Ark.

Posted by redguy at March 12, 2008 07:00 PM

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Comments

For baby-boomers, sex is a sacrament, and as that generation's males grow both older and richer, we will no doubt hear about more of them doing ridiculously stupid things in their pursuits of pretty young things.

However, Ann, I smiled at your charicature of the hookers, and also of their clients. American actress and writer Cornelia Otis Skinner said, "Women's virtue is man's greatest invention," and nowhere is that more evident than in the prostitution business. I guess men don't want to believe that when they have sex with whores they're using a woman's body to masturbate, nor do they want to believe that they're having sex with a woman who allows men to use her body as a high-priced receptacle, and doing so has turned her into a soulless husk.

That's why web sites can tout whores as "educated" and "refined": because sorry fools like Elliot Schvanster believe it.

I'll bet Kristen's rates have gone up.

Posted by: Florida Cane [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 13, 2008 09:44 AM

Dear Ann,
I'm thankful that there was no anti-Sematism in the media about Spitzer.
I am a little disappointed to find it on your page in the form a stereotype of haggling Jews.
Perhaps when we Jews find salvation in your Lord JC we will stop our haggling and pay full retail for our Cadillacs.
Or will we even want to own Cadillacs then?
Will the Cadillac gene be cleansed from our bodies?

Posted by: Rick [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 13, 2008 10:41 AM

You've done it again, Ann! Finding exactly the most appropriate "metaphor" for the occasion. Indeed, your thorough mapping of such a lost brokerage of power cannot be refuted, denied or contradicted(although some may try).
Thanks Ann and God Bless you.

Posted by: HeyJay [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 13, 2008 01:53 PM

I could not be happier with Spitzer's fall from grace. This Piece of crap was the self appointed savior of NY? Well at least it has saved us from having him in or running for the White House. I may be a knuckle dragging Neanderthal conservative but at least I can attend my kids school events without shame.

Posted by: mfee01 [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 13, 2008 02:49 PM

The shame he has brought on his wife and family is beyond belief. They should keep the apartment so the girls can still attend school and send him off to the nearest luxury hotel in NYC. I'm sure he can dial up the Emperor's Club to have some good, clean, educated "models" over to keep him company! It absolutely grosses me out to think he never gave one thought to the health of his wife while he was diddling with drug-using losers! What he has done is unforgiveable!

Posted by: CapeConservative [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 13, 2008 09:10 PM

Good column, Ann.

You said it best (I won't sort out the sarcasm/wit/etc.) when you wrote:

Surprising no one, police wiretaps indicate that the "models" were semi-literate, could not learn to swipe a credit card and seemed invariably to be on drugs. That's what you get for $2,000 an hour in this charming business.

After one prostitute missed an appointment and left a "crazy" text message for one of her pimps, the procurer remarks that the girl is on drugs. It seems, the procurer adds, "a lot of these girls deteriorate to this point."

Behold the "victimless" crime of prostitution. Hard to believe these girls would turn to drugs. Having sex with strangers for money, nothing to live for ... just thinking about it makes me want to take drugs.

Just think. This is what men subsidize when they solicit whores....or Democrats.

Posted by: Loser [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 16, 2008 08:02 PM

Good column, Ann.

You said it best (I won't sort out the sarcasm/wit/etc.) when you wrote:

Surprising no one, police wiretaps indicate that the "models" were semi-literate, could not learn to swipe a credit card and seemed invariably to be on drugs. That's what you get for $2,000 an hour in this charming business.

After one prostitute missed an appointment and left a "crazy" text message for one of her pimps, the procurer remarks that the girl is on drugs. It seems, the procurer adds, "a lot of these girls deteriorate to this point."

Behold the "victimless" crime of prostitution. Hard to believe these girls would turn to drugs. Having sex with strangers for money, nothing to live for ... just thinking about it makes me want to take drugs.

Just think. This is what men subsidize when they solicit whores....or Democrats.

Posted by: Loser [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 16, 2008 08:02 PM

Bulls-eye, Ann!

It appears the stage is set for a hilarious, yet pitiful, election season on the Democrat side of the aisle!

We have B. Hussein Obama trying to explain away why he voluntarily joined a church, a supposedly Christian church, that was run by an angry, racist, America hating, hate monger.

Not only did Obama join this church BECAUSE of the Rev. Wright, he specifically requested Rev. Wright to perform his wedding ceremony, perform the baptisms of both of his children, and become an advisor to his campaign (until recently). It appears that Rev. Wright has been an integral part of EVERY major event in B. Hussein Obama’s life.

This leads me to believe that the Rev. Wright is very important to Mr. Obama. Yet, Mr. Obama would like us to believe that he had very little knowledge of Rev. Wrights “hate speech”.

Now we are being told by Obama that: 1) he was never in attendance during one of Rev. Wrights hate mongering diatribes; 2) on second thought, he had heard of some of the hate speech but that doesn't negate all of the "good" Rev. Wright has done; 3) he joined the church because of Rev. Wright but Obama has yet to tell us what Rev. Wright has specifically said or done that drew him there in the first place; 4) he won't disown Rev. Wright because you don't disown someone because you don't believe in everything that person has said; 5) he won't leave the Rev. Wrights church because you don't leave a church because you don't agree with everything the pastor is preaching (OK - you don't leave because the pastor is preaching pure unadulterated hate - but you don't say exactly WHY you are staying).

We also have Shrillary Clinton who obviously has absolutely no ability to recognize, choose and support a good man! Her ideas of a good man are the members of OPEC, Hamas and Hezbollah.

As a supposed supporter of women, she stood by her man, BJ Clinton, through all of his "bimbo" eruptions and, instead of attacking BJ, she attacked ALL of the women involved, including the women who were actually victims versus the willing participants.

She will not attack Obama and his voluntary 20 year support of an angry, racist, America hating, hate mongering pastor.

And now, she simply can't throw Spitzer under the bus the same way she rapidly rid herself of Geraldine. Geraldine made one comment, a comment about Obama, and she's history.

Shrillary, who hasn’t been so shrill lately, can't go after Spitzer because that flies directly in the face of the "stand by her man" attitude she had taken with her own lecherous pig of a spouse. And, she has openly supported Spitzer's initiatives (i.e., giving driver's licenses to illegal aliens).

She readily went after Mark Foley who only had inappropriate email or text messages. Though no actual physical contact ever occurred, Foley was a Republican and had to be ruined publicly along with all other Republicans that even so much as shook Foley's hand.

She readily joined the Clarence Thomas/Anita Hill fiasco based solely on Anita Hill’s testimony. Though there was never any proof of Anita’s allegations, and the fact that Anita followed Clarence Thomas from office to office even after these supposed “atrocities” had occurred, it was the seriousness of the charge that was important (a woman never lies about such things) and Clarence Thomas was almost completely ruined – he was conservative and about to become a Supreme Court justice.

Shrillary Clinton has a decades long history of supporting the lying, lecherous, conniving, hate mongering, two-faced, adulterous, anti-American, lowest of the lows of the Democrat party.

It completely escapes me why anyone would even consider voting for either of these two.


Posted by: LynnJG [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 19, 2008 09:33 AM

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