"Smith" is half bad high-tech rip-off of "War of the Roses" and half bad shoot-'em-up movie with no plot. And a whole lot of boring.

Even if your male significant other is a skank-o-phile and just can't resist the chance to see Ms. Jolie on the wide screen, tell him to skip it. After Jolie dons a black pleather dominatrix outfit at the beginning of the movie, it's all down hill from there. Unless you count the part where Jolie's character tells her husband she slept with 312 men. Art imitates life - sometimes. Her real-life number is probably a lot higher.

Even if your female significant other can't get enough of the far-too-metro poster boy, Pitt, tell her to skip it, too. Unlike Jolie, he doesn't don a black pleather dominatrix outfit. But he might be sporting a lobotomy - for choosing to act in this big-screen bore.

Then, there's the incessant promotion of this movie. From Pitt's hour-long "Prime-Time Live Special Edition," Tuesday, to Jolie's big interview on "Dateline," Friday, pop-culture connoisseurs can't help but be overwhelmed by the third-world politics of the pair.

Forget Jolie, the multi-tattooed, twice-divorced, bisexual who brags about sleeping around, wore a vial of ex-husband Billy Bob Thornton's blood around her neck, and proclaimed, "I am so in love with my brother, right now," when she won an Oscar. Forget the previously suicidal Jolie, who bragged on Bravo's "Inside the Actors' Studio," how she enjoyed cutting herself and her live-in boyfriend—because at age 14, regular sex wasn't enough to feel close to him. (Well, her mother was French . . . .) Forget the Angelina Jolie, who said, "I need more sex, okay? Before I die I wanna taste everyone in the world."

Meet the new, re-packaged Angelina Jolie, Goodwill Ambassador for the U.N. High Commissioner on Refugees (UNHCR). In cover stories in July's Marie Claire and yesterday's USA Today, she's hailed for pretending to care about the world's poor, helpless, impoverished children . But, when she's not making out with Jordan's Queen Noor at anti-Semitic, anti-American hate-fests, Jolie is cheering on Palestinian terrorists in development (who aren't covered by UNHCR, anyway - a topic of an upcoming column). Jolie is enthralled by Palestinian children's desire to terrorize Jews and Israelis.

After a visit to the Al-Ruweished Palestinian refugee camp in Jordan, Jolie quoted them approvingly in her journal: "Be patient we will take our revenge [sic] we will take our homes back . . . . (Smiles, fists in the air) Palestine, your name is in our veins." Jolie explains, "Their dream is to see their homeland. . . . It was very moving to hear them speak of the dream." Like the late Yasser Arafat, Ms. Jolie finds Palestinian kids' call for "revenge" with fists in the air "very moving." Is this what she's teaching her adopted son, Maddox? She now sports an Arabic tattoo she got on her Christmas vacation with Maddox to Lebanon and Egypt.

Jolie was honored at a March benefit for refugees at the Kuwaiti embassy. But her buddies in Kuwait, Jordan, Lebanon, Egypt and the rest of the Muslim world refuse to give a penny to her young Palestinian refugee friends who live in their midst.

Then there's Jolie's absurd politics here. For those who want to stop illegal immigration, Jolie is not your man - or woman. She pushed for establishment of a National Center for Refugee and Immigrant Children and lobbied for the Alien Child Protection Act, a bill that would provide lawyers refugee minors who come to the U.S. But these benefit one type of immigrant children - illegal ones. We don't need to provide "centers" and ACLU-style lawyers for illegal immigrants. We need to deport them. Sympathy, like that of Jolie, for under-age illegal aliens is exactly what their parents are counting on when they take advantage of America and smuggle themselves in. In many cases, these are children of terror suspects, and they grow up with the same anti-American ideologies.

Late last year, Jolie made a check-up on a Homeland Security facilities for asylum seekers in Phoenix. Her UN commission opposes detention of these illegal aliens (perhaps we should just let them escape into thin air). Good ole Angelina was there to monitor conditions and make sure we Americans are acting humanely. No surprise that she told Marie Claire her favorite website belongs to the far-left, anti-American Human Rights Watch.

Then there's Pitt. During his one-hour commercial for soaking the U.S. taxpayer to subsidize Africa, Diane Sawyer showed she's a great softball pitcher. Pitt guilt-tripped America for not giving enough to Africa's poor. He claimed Americans are ignorant about how much we give and that it's so very little. How interesting that his co-star and rumored paramour Jolie parroted the same lines in Marie Claire, especially the part about calling Americans "ignorant" and stingy. But America officially gives about 1% of the budget in foreign aid (and gives far more in programs that are funded through various agencies and departments, plus private donations). That's billions of dollars, and much of it goes to dictatorships that never send the money to their people - often funding terrorism instead.

Pitt claimed that throwing money at these countries will eliminate their hatred for America. But poverty has nothing to do with terrorism or hatred of America. The 9/11 hijackers came from wealthy families, as do many Palestinian homicide bombers. The US gave Afghanistan billions, including over $117,869,525 in the first half of 2001. That hardly stopped Bin Laden and the Taliban from running things. Pitt's and Jolie's (and now President Bush's) espousal of rock star Bono, economist Jeffrey Sachs, and their absurd idea to forgive of Africa's large debt to American taxpayers, is a disaster.

Both Esquire and FHM magazines chose Jolie as the world's sexiest woman. Pitt was once People's "Sexiest Man Alive." But there's nothing sexy about their misguided politics. Mr. & Mrs. Smith, please don't go to Washington.